Dear Ken,

When Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton — a twice-indicted, freshly-acquitted grifter who treats law like a buffet — declared he was launching an “undercover operation” to infiltrate imaginary leftist terror cells, we decided to return the favor and infiltrate his ego with a letter soaked in gasoline.

Dear Ken,

You power-hungry son of a subpoena.

Every time you open your mouth, the Texas heat drops ten degrees out of sheer embarrassment. You are the political equivalent of an oil spill — sticky, toxic, impossible to clean up, and yet somehow convinced you’re the ocean itself.

Now you’ve decided to “launch undercover operations” to infiltrate “leftist terror cells.” Jesus Christ, Ken — what the hell is wrong with you? You’re not the Attorney General anymore; you’re LARPing as a discount Jack Bauer with a God complex and a campaign to sell. You’ve been indicted, impeached, investigated, and exposed more times than the Houston skyline, yet you still wake up every morning convinced that the enemy is out there — instead of sitting right there in your shaving mirror.

Let’s review your résumé, shall we?

Felony securities fraud: check.

Whistleblower scandal: check.

Bribery allegations: check.

Extramarital affair with a donor-connected “friend”: check.

An entire impeachment trial broadcast to the world: check.

And now — espionage theater for the chronically gullible.

You’re not fighting terrorism, Ken. You’re fighting relevance. You’re running a state office like a meth-addled stage play — half Red Dawn, half Duck Dynasty, all bullshit.

Somewhere between your indictment and your next Fox News hit, you decided that law enforcement wasn’t about justice anymore — it was about optics, control, and feeding the fear machine that keeps your base angry enough to vote against their own damn interests.

You say “leftist terror cells” like it’s a real thing. What’s next? Are you going to send undercover agents into vegan potlucks? Dispatch SWAT to poetry slams? Tap the phones of anyone who says “healthcare is a human right”? You’re not protecting Texans; you’re threatening them — from behind a badge that lost its legitimacy the day you treated your oath of office like a coupon for immunity.

You call Antifa a “cancer.” You call trans people “deranged foot soldiers.” You call political dissent “terror.” You’ve managed to redefine law enforcement as state-sponsored bullying wrapped in scripture. You weaponized morality, gutted reason, and then had the audacity to call yourself a Christian — as if Christ ever would’ve looked at your paranoid, vengeful crusade and said, “Hell yeah, Ken, go undercover and spy on the poor.”

You’re the kind of man who sees a Pride parade and thinks it’s an ambush. You see compassion and call it subversion. You see accountability and call it persecution. You’ve built an entire political career out of fighting shadows — and you’ve mistaken the darkness you cast for proof of an enemy.

And yet, somehow, the audacity is the least offensive part of this. What’s truly revolting is the mediocrity — the way you wrap your cowardice in patriotic drag, scream “freedom,” and then outlaw anything that looks remotely like it. Your “infiltration” fantasy isn’t about justice. It’s about erasure — silencing anyone who threatens your fragile mythology of power.

So let’s set the record straight: The terrorists aren’t the teachers with rainbow stickers, Ken. They aren’t the protestors outside ICE detention centers. They aren’t the kids with purple hair and pronouns. The terrorists are the ones using state power to hunt them.

You’ve turned Texas into your personal fever swamp of grievance and grievance theater. Every press release is another act of projection. Every sermon about “law and order” is just you hiding behind the corpse of your own integrity. And every so-called “operation” you announce is another taxpayer-funded reminder that you’re too corrupt to prosecute crime and too shameless to quit pretending you’re the good guy.

You talk about “leftist terror” while you dine with the architects of actual coups. You’ve defended a man who tried to overthrow democracy, and you call yourself a patriot. You’ve sold your soul to the cult of power, and now you’re recruiting others to enforce your delusions. You’re not infiltrating terrorists, Ken. You’re manufacturing them — one lie, one scapegoat, one press release at a time.

Maybe you believe it. Maybe you don’t. Either way, the result’s the same: a chilling, authoritarian fantasy masquerading as law enforcement. You’ve become exactly what the Founders warned about — a man so convinced of his righteousness that he mistakes tyranny for leadership.

History will not remember you as a defender of Texas. It’ll remember you as a man who mistook fear for duty and propaganda for prayer.

Sleep well, Ken. The ghosts you’re chasing are real — but they’re all yours.

Rook T. Winchester
Editor, Closer to the Edge

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