For Fox (news) Sake
If there’s one thing Fox News does well—aside from frying the last remaining brain cells of your uncle who still calls COVID “the China Flu”—it’s turning completely normal government functions into high-octane conspiracy theories. And their latest target? USAID, the United States Agency for International Development, which, in the minds of Fox News hosts, has apparently been running a global deep-state operation to destroy America by funding things like education, clean water, and helping disaster victims not die.
According to Fox News, USAID isn’t just some boring bureaucracy handing out food to starving kids—it’s a “radical-left slush fund” funneling your hard-earned tax dollars to a Marxist cabal hell-bent on world domination. The latest Fox segment on this mess featured wall-to-wall coverage of so-called “wasteful” USAID spending, painting a picture so absurdly misleading that it would have made Joseph Goebbels blush.
Take their most shocking “exposés”—USAID funding a Sesame Street program in Iraq to promote basic literacy and conflict resolution (clearly the first step in an international communist uprising), giving Afghan farmers incentives to grow food crops instead of opium (a crime against American heroin addicts, apparently), and providing relief efforts in Lebanon (which Fox, of course, framed as “funding terrorists”).
Never mind that most USAID projects are approved by Congress—including under Trump’s own administration. Never mind that Trump himself signed off on billions in USAID funding before deciding, five years later, that it was part of some vast socialist plot. No, no—now, with Elon Musk acting as Trump’s real-life Lex Luthor, USAID is being torn apart by Trump’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE)—because yes, they named a government department after a meme, because that’s where we are as a country now.
And here’s where it gets even more insane: Ilhan Omar, the only person in this entire story who has been even remotely consistent, dared to criticize Trump’s gutting of USAID—which, naturally, Fox News took as a sign that she must be a secret Somali warlord orchestrating a Marxist takeover from the inside.
Fox News’ coverage of Omar is so cartoonishly unhinged that I half expect them to start running segments claiming she has a secret tunnel connecting her congressional office to a Hamas training camp. Instead, they took a completely fabricated video—which falsely claimed she was teaching Somali immigrants how to “evade deportation”—and ran with it like it was the goddamn Pentagon Papers.
The video, which was first posted by right-wing hack Ian Miles Cheong, was so obviously edited that even a lobotomized squirrel could have spotted the jump cuts. But that didn’t stop Elon Musk, the apartheid prince himself, from blasting it out to his army of rage-drunk fanboys, declaring “She is breaking the law. Literally. Outright.”
Except… no. Literally nothing in the video was illegal. She wasn’t even at the event shown. And all she actually did was remind people of their constitutional rights—something Fox News itself has done before when discussing white people who don’t want to talk to the cops.
But does that matter? Of course not. Because Fox News has never been interested in facts. They are solely interested in fueling outrage, keeping their geriatric viewers foaming at the mouth, and making sure nobody ever actually questions why billionaires keep stealing their pensions.
Instead of focusing on the actual corruption happening in broad daylight—like Trump using DOGE to hand out government jobs to Musk’s unqualified lackeys, or Musk literally installing a 25-year-old SpaceX bro to rewrite the Treasury’s payment system—Fox News is spending its airtime demanding Omar’s deportation for crimes that do not exist.
Yes, actual sitting congressmen, including Rep. Brandon Gill (R-TX), are now openly calling for Ilhan Omar—a U.S. citizen—to be deported. This is where we are.
Gill, who, based on his understanding of citizenship, probably thinks The Wizard of Oz was a documentary, took to X to declare that “America would be a better place if Ilhan Omar were deported back to Somalia.” Which, in addition to being blatantly racist, is also the dumbest thing ever said by a person who wears a suit to work.
Fox News, instead of correcting this absolute clown, gave him a platform to repeat his deranged fantasy that Omar is an enemy of the state—because nothing gets their viewers’ blood pressure up quite like the idea that a Muslim woman somewhere might have an opinion.
Meanwhile, what’s actually happening in the real world?
Trump is shutting down USAID, Musk is consolidating more power than any unelected official in history, and Guantánamo Bay is now being used to house immigrants like we’re in some late-stage dystopian nightmare. And Fox News? They’re too busy trying to convince their viewers that the real problem in America is that Bert and Ernie got a government grant to teach kids the alphabet in Baghdad.
At this point, it’s not even about journalism. Fox News is a government propaganda machine, and their job is not to inform the public, but to keep their audience permanently angry at the wrong people. They will never question Musk’s growing control over the U.S. government because they need Musk’s platform to keep their rage machine running. They will never question Trump’s blatant authoritarian power grabs because they are fully invested in the idea that America is better off as a dictatorship.
What they will do is find new and exciting ways to twist reality into a pretzel, so their viewers keep screaming about immigrants, socialism, and Ilhan Omar—instead of noticing that their 401(k)s are being plundered by the very people they’re cheering for.
The endgame here isn’t hard to see. If Fox News keeps this up, we’ll all wake up one day to find that Trump has declared himself “President for Life,” Musk has bought the Pentagon, and Fox & Friends is running a segment on whether public executions should be “brought back in the name of efficiency.”
And half of America will nod along in agreement, because they’ve been conditioned to believe that the real enemy isn’t the billionaire class seizing control—it’s a congresswoman who once wore a hijab on the House floor.
Fox News isn’t just a disgrace to journalism. It’s a full-blown cult. And as long as they keep poisoning the minds of millions, America will continue its slow, stupid descent into authoritarianism—one mind-rotting segment at a time.