RON JOHNSON: DUMB, DANGEROUS, DERANGED

He’s not fighting for democracy. He’s drooling on its boots.

Earlier today, in a spectacular display of sycophancy disguised as seriousness, Senator Ron Johnson appeared on CNN with Jake Tapper and unraveled on live television. What was supposed to be a conversation about the Wisconsin Supreme Court race quickly morphed into a rant about Musk’s “ground game,” fake judicial grievances, and the ever-reliable cry of “Trump Derangement Syndrome.” It was less an interview than a meltdown — a man so committed to authoritarian bootlicking he’s now quoting Elon Musk like scripture.

This wasn’t just about Wisconsin. This was about power. And like every GOP loyalist since 2016, Johnson made it crystal clear: if the courts won’t protect Trump, then the courts must be broken.

GROUND GAME, GROUND GAME, GROUND GAME — AND MUSK?

“In Wisconsin during the 2024 election he helped finance the ground game... He's doing similar things here for this race as well.”

In Johnson’s world, democracy runs on door knocks and Elon Musk’s wallet. He praised Musk’s financial backing of the conservative Supreme Court candidate as though it were an act of civic virtue, not a techno-oligarch funneling cash into judicial races like he’s buying stock options on the future of Roe v. Wade. And Johnson doesn’t see the problem — because for him, a billionaire’s influence isn’t corruption. It’s strategy.

He repeated the words ground game like a kid trying to remember his spelling list — as if repetition might turn a rigged race into a righteous one.

TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME: THE MIRROR HE WON’T LOOK INTO

“I think it really has national implications. And I think certainly from the Democrat side, they just want to lodge their displeasure with Donald Trump winning in November. And you see with Senator Booker on the floor — they just, again, the Trump Derangement Syndrome is alive and well, and they’re lashing out and they want to make that point.”

Johnson wields “Trump Derangement Syndrome” like a nervous tic — a phrase he drops whenever someone dares question the MAGA doctrine. But here’s the twist: Johnson has it worse than anyone. He doesn’t just defend Trump. He inhabits him. Mimics his cadence, parrots his grievances, worships his allies. Ron isn’t rejecting TDS — he’s reenacting it in reverse, playing out his own hallucinated version of America where the real danger isn’t fascism — it’s fact-checking.

He accuses others of obsession while orbiting Trump like a dying satellite, too proud to admit he’s no longer pulling gravity — just following orders.

WHEN JUDGES RULE AGAINST US, THEY MUST BE STOPPED

“We have justices that apply the law. They don’t alter it. They don’t legislate from the bench.”

This line is always a tell. Johnson doesn’t want neutral judges. He wants obedient ones. Judges who will say, “Yes sir, the Constitution now says what you wish it said.” His idea of judicial restraint is Clarence Thomas in a blindfold with a rubber stamp. When courts block voter suppression or defend bodily autonomy, Johnson calls it “radical activism.” When they strip rights from the vulnerable, it’s “just applying the law.”

He doesn’t want justice. He wants vengeance — dressed in robes, wearing a smirk.

CALLING CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS TO CLEAN UP HIS NIGHTMARE

“I think John Roberts has to bring these justices back within their constitutional constraints.”

Here, Johnson tries to cast John Roberts as a sort of judicial hall monitor — like the Chief Justice can simply scold liberal colleagues back into submission with a raised eyebrow and a stern memo. But the real fantasy isn’t about Roberts. It’s about control. Johnson wants the judiciary to be less like a branch of government and more like a customer service hotline for Republican grievances. Press 1 to overturn elections. Press 2 to criminalize abortion. Press 3 to deregulate billionaires. Stay on the line for further constitutional gaslighting.

THE MUSK MANIFESTO

“It was Elon Musk’s point — he had asked people to sign a petition on judicial activism.”

Imagine proudly citing Elon Musk’s petition as if it were a legal brief from Thurgood Marshall. Johnson not only invoked Musk — he offered him up as a moral compass. A man whose only known guiding principle is vibes. This is where we are: the judiciary of the United States, according to Senator Ron Johnson, should be shaped by a Change.org link passed around by a space tycoon with a God complex and a burner phone.

That’s not democracy. That’s delusion with a Bluetooth headset.

A BRIEF DETOUR: JUSTIN EICHORN’S FLAMING COLLAPSE

Johnson’s obsession with “Trump Derangement Syndrome” echoes fellow GOP foot soldier Justin Eichorn — the Minnesota lawmaker who once tried to classify TDS as a real mental illness. That is, until he got caught in a sting operation for allegedly soliciting sex from a minor and resigned faster than you can say “family values.” This is the same ideological current Johnson swims in — a filthy tributary of projection, denial, and rot beneath the surface.

RON JOHNSON’S ROTTEN CORE, IN TWO PARAGRAPHS

Ron Johnson’s Senate legacy is a landfill fire of opportunism and cowardice. He sabotaged public health during COVID by pushing conspiracy cures. He carved out tax loopholes that directly enriched his family. When Americans needed stability, he proposed turning Social Security into a congressional hostage. And when democracy was on the brink, his office tried to slide fake electors into Mike Pence’s hand like it was a blackjack table.

Even his lies are lazy. He denies, deflects, and plays dumb with the finesse of a man who knows he can’t be held accountable — not because he’s innocent, but because the system he helps rig protects him. He doesn’t serve Wisconsin. He serves the cult of Trump, the whims of Musk, and the paycheck of whoever’s paying him to pretend it’s all just good-faith politics.

CONCLUSION: THE FINAL INDICTMENT

Ron Johnson isn’t just out of touch — he’s out of time. A throwback to an era where white grievance and corporate cash were the only qualifications for power. His performance on April 1st wasn’t just embarrassing. It was revealing. He doesn’t believe in law unless it serves him. He doesn’t respect democracy unless it crowns his king. And he doesn’t understand America unless it looks like a mirror.

There’s no such thing as Trump Derangement Syndrome. But there is a sickness — and it’s when grown men like Ron Johnson mistake blind loyalty for leadership, mistake billionaires for prophets, and mistake their own cowardice for patriotism.

We see through it. And we won’t forget it.

---