SITH LORDS AND EGO TRIPS: MAY THE 4TH BE WITH WHO, EXACTLY?

There it is. Another day, another fascist fever dream—and this one came dressed in space robes, airbrushed muscles, and a red lightsaber longer than Trump's indictment list. On May the 4th, a day usually reserved for geeky joy and Jedi nostalgia, the Trump-aligned White House account dropped a digitally enhanced tantrum from the Dark Side.

Let’s pause. Breathe. Gawk.

YOU CAN’T CALL US THE EMPIRE WHILE COSPLAYING AS THE EMPIRE

In the now-viral image, Trump stands shirtless, oiled like a WWE villain, gripping a red lightsaber—the signature weapon of Sith Lords and galactic tyrants—while flanked by two bald eagles and the kind of drapery you'd find in a dictator’s sex dungeon. He looks like Vladimir Palpatine with a spray tan and a gym membership.

And then he has the nerve to call the left the Empire?

This isn’t just hypocrisy. This is delusion with special effects. This is fan fiction fascism, written by someone who skimmed the Star Wars Wikipedia page and thought the Sith were the good guys because they “get stuff done.”

ENTER LUKE SKYWALKER—AND HE BROUGHT RECEIPTS

Mark Hamill—yes, actual Luke Skywalker—saw the image. And he did not hold back.

Replying on Bluesky to comedian Mrs. Betty Bowers, who pointed out the villainy of red lightsabers, Hamill dropped a line that hit harder than a Death Star blast:

“Proof this guy is full of SITH.”

Six words. That’s all it took. The Force of mockery was strong with this one.

Hamill didn’t even need to write a full takedown—he’s been shredding Trump for years. But this one was special. This was personal. Trump dressed himself up in Hamill’s legacy and then tried to use it to bash the very ideals Star Wars stood for: resistance, rebellion, freedom from tyranny.

And Hamill responded like a true Jedi—no shouting, no all-caps rant. Just a clean, precise saber strike straight through the illusion.

YOU’RE NOT THE REBELLION. YOU’RE NOT EVEN A GOOD VILLAIN.

Let’s be clear. You can’t post yourself wielding a red lightsaber, bare-chested like a fascist thirst trap, and then accuse everyone else of being evil. That’s not how symbolism works. That’s how projection works.

This image didn’t say “hero.” It said: “I just learned what AI is and I want to look like Darth MAGA.” This isn’t a meme. It’s a self-own in 4K.

THE CULT OF COSPLAY AUTOCRACY

This is what happens when your movement has no ideology left—just vibes, vengeance, and bad Photoshop. When Trumpworld reaches for myth, they grab the wrong end of the saber every time. They confuse authoritarianism for strength. They think empire means order. They think branding yourself a villain makes you the hero if you do it with enough flags behind you.

You’re not the Jedi, Donald. You’re not even Vader. You’re a Walmart hologram of a Sith Lord running on expired Adderall and grievance.

MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH US. BECAUSE THIS TIMELINE NEEDS A REWRITE.

As America slips deeper into absurdity, there’s something poetic about Luke Skywalker himself stepping in to deliver the roast. Maybe we don’t have lightsabers, but we’ve got truth. And memes. And the original cast calling out the bullshit.

So no, Mr. Trump. You’re not the Rebellion. You’re the hologram Emperor in the corner of a dying franchise, shouting into the void while the real heroes have already moved on.

May the 4th be with us all.

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