THANK YOU

Yesterday, you pulled off something absurdly beautiful. Because of you — the readers, the sharers, the “I’m signing up with my cat’s Gmail” crowd — Closer to the Edge hit #96 on the Bestsellers in U.S. Politics list and #69 on the Rising in U.S. Politics list at the same time. Ninety-six. Sixty-nine. It wasn’t just numbers. It was poetry. It was a statistical stunt so satisfying it could have been painted on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel — preferably with Ann Coulter looking up in dismay while Under the Desk News high-fived God in the corner.

You did that. Not us. You made the algorithm blink. You made the charts look like they’d been hacked by someone with a sense of humor. You created a moment worth screen-shotting, framing, and using as your phone wallpaper until your friends start asking awkward questions.

But today, the Rising list erased us like a nervous politician scrubbing their search history. We’re still at #96 on Bestsellers, but our Rising spot? Gone. This isn’t about quality — if it were, Under the Desk News would be cemented at the top forever and Coulter would be three floors down muttering about cancel culture to a damp sponge. This is about momentum, and momentum is something we can crank up again — but this time, we go bigger.

So here’s the challenge: let’s put Closer to the Edge in the Top 10 on both lists. At the same time. Bestseller and Rising. Side by side. A double-occupancy penthouse suite in the algorithm’s house, with us throwing the loudest party they’ve ever seen. It’s not impossible — you already proved you can bend the charts once. Now we’re asking you to break them.

Here’s how: even if you’re already subscribed, sign up again with another email. For free. Your personal Gmail. Your work account. That Hotmail address you made in 2002 because you thought “punkprincess420” would age well. Every extra subscription — free or paid — is another log on the momentum fire. And if you go paid? That’s how we push into the Bestseller Top 10 and stay there. Every paid sub is like a grappling hook pulling us up the wall while Coulter slips on a banana peel below.

Yesterday’s 96/69 was a flex. Top 10 on both lists would be an absolute heist. The kind of thing that makes the algorithm file a restraining order. And to make this easier, we’ve got a limited-time 10% discount for new paid subscribers until August 15 at midnight. Upgrade now, lock it in, and let’s make this happen.