We read every word of the bill. All 1,000+ pages of it. What we found wasn’t a coherent economic plan—it was a sprawling Rorschach test of authoritarian fantasy, fossil fuel worship, and trickle-down mythology. Still, if we’re being honest—and we always are—there are a few shiny coins buried in the wreckage.
Let’s take this beast apart.
THE GOOD
Yes, there’s some. Don’t get used to it.
The bill expands the Child Tax Credit to $2,500 per child through 2028, with inflation indexing thereafter. It won’t end child poverty, but it might buy a week of groceries. Credit where credit is due—until it quietly vanishes.
It also includes temporary deductions for tip income, overtime pay, and even interest on car loans for U.S.-made vehicles. They’re short-lived and politically convenient, but they exist—and they do help workers, however briefly.
Small business owners get a modest boost. The Qualified Business Income deduction increases from 20% to 23%, and capital investments can be fully expensed up front. For those running real businesses—not hedge fund shells—this matters.
The air traffic control system finally gets the attention it’s begged for since the 1990s, with $12.5 billion earmarked for modernization. We’ll take fewer delays and safer skies any day.
And in a rare nod to family support, the adoption tax credit becomes partially refundable, helping middle-class families absorb the real costs of adoption.
But don’t get starry-eyed. These crumbs come with razors baked in.
THE BAD
It isn’t a policy bill. It’s a punishment ritual.
The bill expands work requirements for Medicaid and food aid. Adults as old as 64 must clock 80 hours per month in work, education, or community service just to qualify. Parents are only exempt if their child is under 7. If you’re 58 and diabetic, tough luck. No hours? No insulin.
Climate protections are shredded. Public lands will be auctioned to the highest bidder. Clean energy tax credits are repealed. The EPA and NOAA get defunded, NEPA is gutted, and royalty rates for fossil fuel extraction are slashed. It reads like Exxon’s Christmas wishlist.
Then there’s the deportation blitz. The bill allocates $46.5 billion for more border wall construction—yes, really. It adds 18,000 new ICE agents, funds detention expansion, and slaps a $1,000 asylum application fee on those fleeing persecution. Add in a 5% tax on remittances sent abroad, and the cruelty becomes policy.
Oversight gets obliterated. IRS modernization is halted. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau is defunded. The Public Company Accounting Oversight Board? Abolished. Wall Street can once again do whatever it damn well pleases—because that's freedom, right?
Federal workers also get kneecapped. The bill increases retirement contributions, eliminates early retirement pathways, and makes grievance filings cost $350. Apparently, accountability means charging public servants to report abuse.
THE UGLY
This is where ideology stops pretending and rips off the mask.
The culture war gets a full funding package. Gender-affirming care is stripped from ACA coverage definitions. Medicaid funds can’t touch Planned Parenthood. Universities with large endowments are taxed. Tanning salons get a tax cut. Tip workers get a deduction—temporarily. And babies born under Trump’s second term? They get a $1,000 “MAGA account” straight from the federal government.
States are banned from regulating artificial intelligence for a decade unless they’re actively promoting it. It’s open season for algorithmic bias, corporate surveillance, and techno-authoritarianism, all in the name of “innovation.”
Meanwhile, defense spending surges by $150 billion, including funding for the so-called “Golden Dome” missile shield—a half-baked, expensive fantasy—and the National Garden of American Heroes, a statuary playground for the cult of Trump.
And just to seal the hypocrisy, the bill raises the debt ceiling by $4 trillion while slashing programs for the poor, the elderly, and the sick. It doesn’t balance the budget—it balances a boot on your neck.
THE FINAL VERDICT
This isn’t a budget. It’s a manifesto.
It’s not governance. It’s grievance.
And it sure as hell isn’t beautiful—unless your idea of beauty is a scorched earth, an empty fridge, and a bronze statue of Donald Trump scowling over it all.
Stay sharp.
Stay furious.
And stay far, far away from the fine print.
Damn them all! Damn them all to Hell!
Oh, while I'm damning people, damn the 89 million people who sat at home on November 5th because they just didn't know enough about Kamala!
And we could have done it to them when we had the chance, but we didn’t have the stones.