When Idiots Run the Show: Bongino, Duffy, and the Collapse of Competence

It should be clear by now that America is no longer a serious country. It pretends to be—there are still flags, still laws, still the husk of what used to be a functioning government—but peel back the surface, and you’ll find a circus without a ringmaster. The animals have seized control. The people in charge are not qualified, not competent, not even pretending anymore

The Trump administration has never been about governing. It has always been about revenge, spectacle, and appointing the loudest, dumbest people possible just to watch what happens. That’s how you end up with Dan Bongino at the FBI and Sean Duffy as Transportation Secretary—two men whose combined expertise in law enforcement and transportation could fit neatly inside a single shot glass and still leave room for whiskey.

Dan Bongino, former Secret Service agent turned red-faced Facebook screamer, is now the Deputy Director of the FBI. This is a man who has spent years calling the FBI corrupt, claiming it should be dismantled, ranting about deep-state conspiracies, and selling discount paranoia to boomers who think Joe Biden is a Chinese robot. Now, he’s inside the system he used to attack, like a meth-addled arsonist suddenly put in charge of the fire department.

If there was ever a time when the FBI still functioned as a professional law enforcement agency, that time is over. Under Bongino, investigations will be based less on facts and more on what Dan saw on a Rumble livestream at 2 AM. The focus won’t be on stopping crime, but on purging “deep state” enemies—meaning anyone who ever voted for a Democrat, worked for CNN, or failed to clap hard enough for Trump.

Meanwhile, over at the Federal Aviation Administration, we have Transportation Secretary, Sean Duffy, a man who knows as much about transit as a mall cop knows about counterterrorism. Duffy’s resume includes being a former reality TV star, a congressman with no notable achievements, and a Fox News talking head whose greatest skill was nodding along while Tucker Carlson ranted about immigrants. He has never run an airline, never worked in aviation safety, never done anything remotely related to transportation. And now, he’s responsible for keeping millions of people from falling out of the sky every day.

This is the problem with a Trump government: it’s not just corrupt, it’s aggressively stupid. You could almost respect a dictatorship that at least ran smoothly, a government where the trains ran on time and the planes didn’t fall apart mid-air. But this is not that. This is an administration made up of C-list cable news personalities who couldn’t run a Waffle House, let alone a federal agency.

Under Bongino, the FBI will become an enforcement arm for Trump’s grievances. If he had his way, every agent in the bureau would be reassigned to investigate whether Hunter Biden’s laptop contains Satanic spells or if Anthony Fauci personally invented COVID in his garage. Real crime? Organized crime? Who cares. If your name is on Trump’s enemy list, the Bongino Bureau is coming for you.

Over at the FAA, air travel is about to become a live-action episode of "Final Destination." Regulations will disappear, oversight will be optional, and safety inspections will be replaced by vibes and prayers. When the inevitable disasters start piling up—planes malfunctioning midair, runways becoming demolition derby zones—Duffy will go on Fox News to assure America that “everything’s fine” while debris falls from the sky behind him.

This is the future. A government where the only qualification for power is your ability to yell on TV. Where federal agencies are handed over to hacks, lunatics, and glorified podcasters. Where the FBI is run by a conspiracy theorist and aviation safety is overseen by a guy whose greatest accomplishment was being on "The Real World."

This isn’t leadership. It’s a massive, flaming joke, and the punchline is that we all have to live in it.

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