COMING SOON: How Not to Say Racist or Bigoted Things For Dummies

Because in 2025, ignorance isn’t charming — it’s dangerous.

We’re writing a book.

Not for you.

You get it. You’re the one dodging racist monologues at grocery stores, pulling your kids out of schools where they censor the word “slavery,” and watching your HR department investigate DEI for being “too political.”

This book is for them — the neighbor who uses racial slurs because he thinks he”s edgy, the coworker who “doesn’t see race,” the grandma who whispers “those people” at brunch. The ones who say it was better “back in their day,” forgetting that back in their day, entire neighborhoods were legally redlined.

This book is for the people who don’t believe in systemic racism — but somehow manage to benefit from it daily.

---

🧨 WHY NOW?

Because in 2025:

• DEI programs are being investigated and dismantled at the federal level.

• Hate groups like the Old Glory Club are multiplying across the U.S., and some members have security clearances.

• “Backlash to wokeness” is just the new branding for bigotry — and it’s working.

• Public denial of racism is at an all-time high — while actual racist violence is also at an all-time high.

In short: people are still saying racist shit, only now they’re doing it with confidence.

This book is for them.

📚 PROPOSED CHAPTERS

1. “I’m Not Racist, But…” and Other Phrases That Are Always Followed by Racism

Includes a game called BINGO, You’re a Bigot!

2. You Don’t Get to Say It Just Because You Heard It in a Rap Song

This chapter includes helpful subtitles like: “Not All Words Are For You.”

3. Old, White, and Wrong: Why Age Is Not a Racism Hall Pass

Back in your day, you should have learned better.

4. If You Mention Your Black Friend One More Time, He’s Going to Quit

He’s not your shield. He’s your hostage.

5. Intent vs. Impact: You Meant Well and Still Fucked Up

Apologies 101: Stop saying “Sorry you were offended.”

6. Why Jokes Aren’t a Free Pass to Say Racist Shit

If people have to analyze whether you’re joking, you’re probably just a bigot with timing issues.

7. Shut the Hell Up: The Art of Not Speaking When You Don’t Know Anything

Includes guided meditations and 60 blank pages to practice silence.

---

💬 YOUR TURN

We’re asking you, our readers — the ones who’ve had to sit through every awkward racist tirade in your own damn home — to help us shape this book:

✅ Vote: Which chapter should we write first?

💡 Suggest your own chapter ideas — the realer and messier, the better.

📬 Share your horror stories. Seriously. We might include them (anonymously, unless you want credit for surviving a barbecue with Mitch from accounting).

Let’s build something hilarious, unforgiving, and completely bulletproof against the gaslighting garbage fire that is modern bigotry.

---

Drop your chapter votes and suggestions below.

The most voted chapter gets written and published first.