Don’t forget he also adopted then disappeared a black kid, who might also be getting notifications of sexy time. Purity Culture is prurient and sexually abusive
His Covenant Eyes popped right out of his computer and fell into a conveniently placed wastebasket, where unfortunately they somehow got stuck to the bottom.
I already have a closet homosexual but that's a rumor. That would explain why he did that he's a devout Christian. Usually when you live in the south and you have that issue or it's not an issue, they think it's a curse so they lay right into the Christian beliefs. Just like alcoholics. That's what they turn to. I would actually turn to a medium before I turn to them. Also they are fake and convenient they only use the Bible as a weapon once convenient for them. He is definitely lying I'm an empath I can smell it all over him. I can smell his b******* from hundreds of miles away here in the Northeast. But he's also hiding a secret agenda of his own. Power he wants to be president he wants to be more than president. And he's so devout to the Christian faith and he believes it that's how he rules his life by. Because if he deviates from that then that those tendencies those sexual unurged h that h whether they're homosexual or not will sow their face and that's a sin to that. I don't know that for sure I've heard things. But just by looking at him and I know Born again Christians because I'm related to if you believe me I live that life when I was a little not anymore I escaped it with my dear life. But they do highly believe in going to the Lord and say you are my savior. And then they won't feel gay anymore. Or they won't want alcohol anymore. And they become really wrapped up in it and the same. So they You know cover themselves with all that boarding and Christian stuff.
You're a fucking disgrace to Christianity and you might as well denounce God because you sure as hell are not obeying God. God is not trump. What the fuck happened to you?
This is beautiful and I wish it was real. Mike Johnson and all of them will have to answer on Judgment Day.
Don’t forget he also adopted then disappeared a black kid, who might also be getting notifications of sexy time. Purity Culture is prurient and sexually abusive
That was powerful and righteous indeed!
It would've been perfect if Jack Johnson had the moral courage to actually write it!
"Modest Christian influencers with strong jawlines.” almost made me spit out my sugar free lemonade lol!
Thank you for writing about Covenant Eyes!
I’d never heard of that—how creepy!!
Fitting tale for such an obsequious little worm
Not that we're insulting worms!
Wow this was brilliant. Pity it’s just satire. Or is it.
Good work, guys. Sometimes satire is the only recourse.
His Covenant Eyes popped right out of his computer and fell into a conveniently placed wastebasket, where unfortunately they somehow got stuck to the bottom.
Love it,satire or not!
I already have a closet homosexual but that's a rumor. That would explain why he did that he's a devout Christian. Usually when you live in the south and you have that issue or it's not an issue, they think it's a curse so they lay right into the Christian beliefs. Just like alcoholics. That's what they turn to. I would actually turn to a medium before I turn to them. Also they are fake and convenient they only use the Bible as a weapon once convenient for them. He is definitely lying I'm an empath I can smell it all over him. I can smell his b******* from hundreds of miles away here in the Northeast. But he's also hiding a secret agenda of his own. Power he wants to be president he wants to be more than president. And he's so devout to the Christian faith and he believes it that's how he rules his life by. Because if he deviates from that then that those tendencies those sexual unurged h that h whether they're homosexual or not will sow their face and that's a sin to that. I don't know that for sure I've heard things. But just by looking at him and I know Born again Christians because I'm related to if you believe me I live that life when I was a little not anymore I escaped it with my dear life. But they do highly believe in going to the Lord and say you are my savior. And then they won't feel gay anymore. Or they won't want alcohol anymore. And they become really wrapped up in it and the same. So they You know cover themselves with all that boarding and Christian stuff.
*faps furiously in a brown puppy suit*
Oh Krissssttiii Dont shoot me i'll lick your...
...[redacted]
Brilliant!
You're a fucking disgrace to Christianity and you might as well denounce God because you sure as hell are not obeying God. God is not trump. What the fuck happened to you?